Project: Community R&D / Social Capital
Context: The Haven Café & The Beaches Neighborhood
Role: Community Architect
Context: The Haven Café & The Beaches Neighborhood
Role: Community Architect
Overview
The Biological Imperative
There is a profound difference between a "network" and a "community." A network is transactional; it asks, "What can you do for me?" A community is biological; it asks, "Who are you?"
There is a profound difference between a "network" and a "community." A network is transactional; it asks, "What can you do for me?" A community is biological; it asks, "Who are you?"
Loneliness is a biological warning signal, like hunger or thirst. It is a distress signal telling us we need to connect to survive. This project explores how to design spaces and rituals that answer that signal.
The Story
Body Budgeting with Nelly
My best friend is 97 years old. Her name is Nelly.
My best friend is 97 years old. Her name is Nelly.
Whether we are sharing a meal or sitting in silence at The Haven, my time with Nelly isn't just "hanging out", it is a lesson in longevity.
Neuroscience (specifically the work of Dr. Ben Rein and Lisa Feldman Barrett) teaches us that humans are social species. We regulate each other’s nervous systems. This is called "body budgeting." When we are with people we trust, our stress hormones drop and our resilience increases.
I treat community building as the active management of this resource. We are the caretakers of each other's nervous systems.
The Cafe as a Laboratory - Designing for Serotonin
I take this science and apply it to how I build businesses. At The Haven, we treat community building as an active discipline. We curate specific environments for different types of connection:
The Play (Games Night): We bring people together to play. Seeing Elan Lee (creator of Exploding Kittens) at a table surrounded by neighbors, laughing over a card game, proves that no matter how successful you are, you never outgrow the need for genuine play.
The Industry (CPG Meetups): We host gatherings for CPG founders. This isn't stiff "networking", it's a support system. It’s founders swapping supply chain war stories and sharing resources. It’s about building a tribe, not just a contact list.
The Movement (Historical Walking Tours): We organize group walks because there is something primal about moving together. It is active wellness that builds trust. It breaks down barriers that sitting across a table cannot.
Games Night & Geo Talk
CPG Events
A few quotes
"A human brain does not work in isolation. Your brain is not an island... We are social animals, and we need other people to keep our body budgets in balance. Loneliness is metabolically expensive."
- Lisa Feldman Barrett
- Lisa Feldman Barrett
“The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships.”
- Esther Perel
"Social connection is not a luxury or a personality preference. It is a biological necessity. Our brains are physically wired to suffer when isolated and thrive when connected."
- Dr. Ben Rein
- Esther Perel
"Social connection is not a luxury or a personality preference. It is a biological necessity. Our brains are physically wired to suffer when isolated and thrive when connected."
- Dr. Ben Rein
“We have all known the long loneliness, and we have found that the answer is community.”
- Dorothy Day
- Dorothy Day
“The only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.”
- Eric Barker
- Eric Barker
"Humans are social beings, and we are happier, and better, when connected to others."
- Paul Bloom - University of Toronto
- Paul Bloom - University of Toronto
“Loneliness is probably the biggest preventable risk factor for mental health concerns including depression, addiction and suicidality.”
- Dr. Jeremy Nobel, Harvard Medical School
- Dr. Jeremy Nobel, Harvard Medical School
“Loneliness is when there’s a disconnect between a person’s desire to interact with others and the interaction that actually takes place. You can be surrounded by people and still be lonely.”
- Dr. Roger McIntyre, Professor of Psychiatry and Pharmacology at the University of Toronto
- Dr. Roger McIntyre, Professor of Psychiatry and Pharmacology at the University of Toronto
Historical Walking Tours
with local historian, Richard White. Author of The Beaches: Creation of a Toronto neighbourhood.
with local historian, Richard White. Author of The Beaches: Creation of a Toronto neighbourhood.
Mindset | Skillset | Toolset
Mindset: Presence over productivity. Connection creates resilience. Strong communities are built on relationships, not just transactions.
Skillset: Environment design. Creating "third places" (online or offline) that remove the friction to entry and foster collision density between people.
Toolset: The Rituals. Games Nights, Walking Tours, Community Meals.
The Business Case
When I look at a business opportunity, whether it's a new CPG brand or a potential investment, I ask: Does this company isolate people, or does it bring them together?
If we want to build things that last, we have to build for the human animal. We have to build for connection.
